Saturday, September 08, 2007

letter to trinity: 26 months

Dear Trinity,

Weird month to talk about this time around. Weird because between spending time at the hospital with your Uncle Dave and starting my new job I really haven't seen you that much.

Your uncle got into a really bad motorbike accident three weeks back, and we've been up to see him at the hospital every day. Sometime we bring you with us, sometimes not. You have been having a real hard time on the times we do bring you along. It turns out that you are not so big on seeing loved ones in pain, on medication, looking distressed. You are getting more comfortable with the whole thing, I suppose because we are taking it more in stride than you are, but that in itself isn't necessarily a good thing. I think more people should feel empathy the way you do.

What's new with you this month?

You continue to love living up north. We moved up here with the intention of you being able to be closer to your grandparents, and you have decided to jump all over the whole thing. Your Grandma has taken you into town shopping (just the two of you!) a few times now and your Mom and I have only had mild anxiety attacks, so we're clearly doing much better with the trust issues.

You have already made more friends up here in one month than you had living down south for the last 2 years. You have playdates each week, and are really seeming to socialize well with the many different new faces.

People are amazed by how well you convey your thoughts; how large your vocabulary is, how long some of your sentences are. From my end, I am just delighted that you and I can carry on conversations back and forth now. Lately you ask me about the world and I do my best to answer as well as I can, knowing full well that you are drinking in my responses like a hungry sponge. I may not give the right or best possible answers, but they are usually the best answers I have handy.

You are getting really good at communicating your feelings as well. When I do see you during the week when I come home from work, you throw your arms around me and tell me that you love me soooooo much. I fall apart every single time. I plan on saving those moments for some undetermined point in the future when you care a little less for me but still feel the need to let me know. I'd like to think it won't happen, but I don't want to be too naive about things.

One thing that I have decided to implement, once a week, is some scheduled Daddy/Trinity time. Last week you and I went out together for the afternoon, went out for lunch, did a little shopping. It was so much fun, and I realized that I need to be very careful not to miss out on the opportunities to bond with you that come up. I don't stay home with you all the time, and I realyl want to build a relaionship with you that is strong and enduring, and that won't happen without my effort. So I have decided that we are going to have at least one afternoon like that a month, and I'm going to shoot for once a week. I am really looking forward to it.

I hope to get to spend more time with you this month than last.