Friday, August 08, 2008

letter to trinity: 37 months

Dear Trinity,

This has been a pretty exciting summer for you so far.

You have gotten to enjoy the best parts of living in a quiet lakefront town, namely the beach across the street and the one at your grand parent's place. We have spent a lot of time at both, teaching you to swim, catching (or chasing) minnows, taking you out in the canoe, having picnics, feeding the local ducks.

Your days are usually filled with playing outside, or at the park, or going on little adventures with your Mom and I. You got to have a visit with my Mom, and that was fun, and short, though she disappointingly spent little time with you while she was visiting. Disappointing because you were so excited to see her, and if you're going to drive seven hours, it stands to reason that you might want to get in as much grand daughter time as you could. At least that would be my point of view.

You have pretty much decided that, at least for now, bedtimes are all about Daddy. You want me to be the one to read your stories to you, and tuck you in, and fall asleep with you. In the past this one was exclusively your Mom's domain unless I forced the issue. So even though I think she is a little hurt by it, I get a lot of pleasure from knowing how safe you feel with me, and how you want to be comforted and nurtured by me. You often talk yourself to sleep at night, and a few nights ago, you woke yourself up from the brink of nodding off to tell me that I was your best friend, and to give me another hug and kiss. You were sleeping soundly moments later, and didn't notice that I had a little cry about that.

Speaking of sleep, you had you very first sleepover away from both your Mom and I last night. We have been hinting to your Grandma that we would be okay with it for awhile now, but she only took us up on it this week. You had a blast, or at least you told us you did. The two of you camped out in one of their spare bedrooms, told stories, ate fun snacks. And when we went to pick you up, you regaled us with the whole story. From our end, it was weird to say the least. I may have been away from you plenty of nights, working shift work, but I always knew that your Mom would be around for you. But this was the first night since you were born that you were away from both of us for any length of time. I was really proud of how well your Mommy did. But just for the record, as much fun as your Mom and I discovered we still have together, we would never wish for you not to have entered our lives. Life would have been so BORING without you, and that fact framed our time alone together.

And some changes are coming our way, hopefully for the better. For all of your life so far, I have either been working from home or have been working shift work, and among other reasons for working strange hours, the primary reason for me not to find a regular day job has always been that because your Mom has stayed home with you instead of working, being at home or on shifts maximized the amount of time that I was able to be home with the both of you. I even turned down a promotion at work recently because I wasn't ready to give that up.

That being said however, a fact of life with only me working means that money talks, and when a job was offered to me that would make a significant difference in our family income, I had to factor that aspect into my thinking as well. So by the time I write you your next letter I will be back among the normal weekday working crowd, and not off through the week as much with you guys. I will be home a lot earlier on my days, and between that and no more night shifts your Mom and I hope that you can get used to a normal routine for a change. So that should be nice. I am also going to try to keep Saturday mornings as your and my special time, so we may have to send your Mom shopping or something so we can hang out together.

I will talk to you next month,

Love Daddy