Sunday, November 08, 2009

letter to trinity: 52 months

Dear Trinity,

Another October has passed, and with it another chance for you to wear one of the many costumes you own out in a publicly acceptable display. You already have a large bucket of dress up clothes, and you love to wear different outfits, mixing and matching pieces of princess and fairy and superhero gear alike.

For me, I love Halloween. I suppose if I had a favourite holiday, this would be it. Your Mom usually talks me out of wearing a costume along with you when we take you out. That is more her attempting to save herself from embarrassment than any effort of hers to save my own dignity. So I usually talk about getting some awesome costume and then don't. Last year we were all invited to a Halloween party, so I got to indulge myself a little, and went dressed as Dr. Horrible. Not one person there knew who I was supposed to be, and I was fine with that. I am that kind of guy.

That Batgirl costume that I told you about last month saw a lot of use this Halloween season. You wore it to a few Halloween themed birthday parties, a couple of dedicated Halloween parties, an event at your Gymnastics club, and out for Halloween night. You also wore it around the house a lot in the days between. I have rarely been so proud, and there are a lot worse things you could play at than being a superhero.

Yesterday, your Mom and I took you to Eau Claire Gorge, a local scenic site, that by the time you read this, you are well aware of, or we've moved. There are a number of walking paths along the Amable du Fond river that runs through the gorge and it is a very soothing place. No leaves left on the trees, and there was actually a shocking amount of snow in the bush that I wasn't expecting, but it was a very nice hike. I suppose that it isn't really a place for 4 year olds, but your Mom and I hung on tight to each hand, and kept you well away from the edge. You loved it, and after we had done the entire circuit, you asked if we could do it all over again. That second time, we got about halfway through before you let us know that your feet were cold and you wanted the safety and warmth of the car, but we didn't mind a bit.

School continues to be a pretty thorny issue with you these days. There was an incident last month that really set you back about wanting to go to school, and we have yet to recover from it. We had told the teacher, principal and even some of the support staff at the school that because this was a year that we were using to introduce you to school only, if you ever wanted to come home and said so, they were to call us immediately and we would come and get you. Your teacher bristled about this, similar to the way that she bristled when we told her we were only sending you on Mondays, Wednesdays and every second Friday, as you were originally scheduled to do. That schedule fell through in favour of a five day a week full time schedule, but in spite of what your teacher thought best, we expected her to respect our wishes. She didn't. You had a bad day early this month and indicated to your teacher that you wanted to come home, and began to cry for Mom. Who can blame you? You have until now, spent every day with the unconditional love of this person, and who wouldn't miss that? Your teacher refused to call us, and the bottom line is that you spent the next 3 hours sobbing and repeatedly asking for the teacher to call your Mom, which she finally did.

Once your Mom came to get you, there were discussions with both the teacher and the principal about how this was to be handled if it re-occurred, but the damage had been done by that point. You were at least somewhat traumatized by this event and don't even like to hear the word school anymore. So we decided to let you take a 'break' from school, one that, the way things are going, is likely to last until into the new year.

So for now, you are home with your Mom again every day, and I come home from work to hear how you've been learning your numbers, your shapes, your alphabet from a better teacher than the one we were previously sending you to: your Mom.

Otherwise things have a feeling of change around here lately, maybe I'll tell you more about that next month.

In the meantime, I will love you as much as any Dad could ever love his little girl; more than anything else in the world.