Thursday, September 09, 2010

letter to trinity: 62 months

Dear Trinity,

I am writing this one a little late again. I let the monthly anniversary go by without taking notes because we were all focused on a larger concern at the time: you going to school.

This is a pretty big thing for any family to go through, and there were a few reasons why it was maybe a little bit worse for us.
  1. We're not the most trusting of parents and have had a lot of anxiety and discussion about you going to school vs home schooling.
  2. You tried junior kindergarten last year for a few months, hated it, and didn't go back.
  3. You have otherwise spent almost every single waking moment with your mother (and occasionally me) since birth.
  4. You have been telling us constantly that you don't want to go to school.
So we had some trepidation around this whole thing and its overshadowed a lot of the last couple of weeks. But the big day came, and we woke you up as planned, about 45 minutes before your bus was coming by. We had laid out your clothes the night prior and we got a decent breakfast in you before going out wait for the bus. You were obviously nervous, but when the bus did show up, you squared your shoulders, got on, never saying a last goodbye or looking back. I was so proud and so anxious for you at the same time. You don't like to show weakness to anyone, especially your Mom and I.

There were a few tears, but all in all I am so happy for you. I love that you are going regularly to school now. You will get to experience so much, learn from different people, get some of the routine and socialization that in spite of your Mom's constant efforts to have you in dance, gymnastics, play dates, etc, you just can't get otherwise.

But its not all about school. I also have a few experiences related to me from your Mom that I think need to be shared:

A few weeks ago, your Mom and you had been doing some shopping and were on your last stop, ready to call it a day and come home. You decided you wanted something (a jump rope I think) and when you were informed that you couldn't have it, you had a bit of a meltdown. Not that unusual for you, or most other 5 year olds. However, when you got back to the car, you said the following to your Mom 'Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you: You are the worst Mom ever!'. I tried not to laugh when your Mom told me this story, because it was hurtful thing to say, but it was kind of funny hearing you go to that level of extreme to indicate your annoyance. And it is funny, because your Mom couldn't be any better of a Mom, so saying something so ridiculous is kind of funny.

Another experience related to me by your Mom worth sharing was a conversation you had with her about your Uncle Dave and his girlfriend. A little context: Last winter their house burned down after Morgan had left something cooking in grease on the stove. I'm not sure what drove you to say this, but you told your Mom that 'Next time I am going to ask Uncle Dave to cook. Morgan's not a very good cooker.' Priceless.

Something else we did this month was to rent a boat and try cruising the lake and fishing a bit. We've been on the lake dozens of times, and me a lot more than that. But we had done some talking about getting something small and thought we'd rent one first and see what everyone really thought about it. You loved it, and the fact that you had me stop after only a quarter mile or so, so you could jump overboard for a swim. And between all the swim stops and fishing we got in in one afternoon trip, I think we are a go for boat.

And here's one last thing: This month, you got your ears pierced. You asked for your ears to be pierced awhile back, maybe as much as a year back, but you said you weren't ready. So we just told you to let us know when you thought you'd be ready and we'd go get it done. So after spending the night with your Grandma, you came home and asked to get your ears pierced. I think your Grandma would love to take credit for the idea, but your Mom and I know better. You have always, and continue to make up your own mind about things. So we took you in to look into it, and you didn't back down, blink or even manifest any anxiety, not even after the whole thing was over. I was astonished that you didn't get worried about it a single bit. While my stomach was in knots worried about the pain you were going to experience, you just clutched your bear, blew off your Mom and my concerns, and just got it done. You really are a trooper.

Let me just say one more time how excited I am for you that you are in school. You're going to start learning new things all the time, and I can't wait to hear about your thoughts as you start putting all these new concepts into your existing world view. I only hope I am up to the challenge when you ask me for my input on any of it.

I love you so much,